My Dad should be turning 79 today. I can see the backyard party at my parent's house now. Hot dogs, Mum's homemade potato salad and a huge cake lit up with a ton of candles for the old fella. Unfortunately though, my Dad passed away 16 years ago and we won't be celebrating his day today. The thing that makes me saddest is that he will never meet his Grandchildren. He would have been the best Grandpa a kid could ever ask for. My son actually calls him "Papa" and talks as if he knows him, but that is a whole different post! I figure today is a great day to spend some time reflecting on how my Dad and his death shaped who I am today. He was so many things to everyone in our family. I know that there are many, many more things I learned from my Dad and his death then just ten, just get me started....
1. Family is #1: My Dad used to call home on his lunch break everyday, just to see what we were all up to. He took pride in his work for sure but we all knew that he would rather be home with us. And when he wasn't at work, he was driving us to all of our extra curricular activities and watching countless sports games of all kinds. My Mum, siblings and I knew that we were his number one priority. I hope that I make my son feel the same about me.
2. Don't Wait for Someday: My Dad died at the age of 63, two years before he was due to retire and endlessly road trip around North America with my amazing Mum. He couldn't wait for retirement and sadly, did not get to enjoy it. Thankfully though, until that point, he had lived life as fully as you can with a full time job and many grown up time commitments. Every summer, we went on a two week camping trip. I'm pretty sure he lived for that two weeks every year. I know there is always a reason not to do the things that we dream of. I am living that these days but let me tell you, I will not be waiting for retirement to cross out the majority of items on my bucket list.
3. Do More of What Makes You Happy: My Dad played hockey right up until his cancer diagnosis. He LOVED the sport and never stopped enjoying it. He played with old guys, young guys, good players, weak players. It didn't matter. It made him happy to play, as so he did. And if there is a heaven, I am willing to bet he's skating across the ice like a boss, stick handling the hell (pun intended) out of that puck right now. Go Dad Go! Thinking about it now, I am feeling like this is maybe a lesson, that I need to focus on. Do more of what I love. Yes!
5. Stress Will Kill You: My Dad came from a generation where men don't talk about what was bothering them. He went through lots of stressful situations and probably many more that I know nothing about. That is life. I don't think he handled the bad stress in a very constructive way, and I firmly believe that had a negative impact on his health as he aged. I say that I have learned this lesson from my Dad but...ok, I will start that exercise and meditation routine tomorrow. Ohm!
6. Don't Hold Grudges: Holding grudges was not my Dad's style. He never walked away from a disagreement without settling it first and making sure the other person was good. These are the people he loved the most in the world, which takes me right back to #1! So if you are holding a grudge toward someone you love, I ask you to honour my Dad's memory and pick up the phone or better yet, go give that person a squeeze right now!
7. Make Other People Feel Special: I remember when my Dad was sick, answering many phone calls at my parent's house, from people I had never heard of (I was 22/23 years old at the time), who described themselves as "a good friend of your Dad". I remember it striking me at the time, how much people liked him. He made everyone he interacted with, feel like his good friend. He definitely spread the love, which is a goal of mine in my daily interactions. I try to treat everyone I encounter with respect and love, just as my Dad did during his life.
8. Document Your Life: My Dad wrote in a Diary every single day, for 30 plus years. I don't even know what year he started it but I know it was long before I was born. His Diaries were not full of his opinions and feelings but they documented our daily activities and current events. What a treasure he left behind for us and the future generations of my family! I can still see him sitting in his recliner, scribbling away in that year's volume for hours on end, with the intention of sharing it with others one day. I am sure many people think I overshare online but I guess that is my form of my Dad's "Diary", my way of documenting my son and my daily life for him and future generations. I guess my Dad's dedicated diary writing, also helps to explain my recent desire to start this blog. Thanks for passing that gene along Dad and thanks for tirelessly recording our lives! Such a gift!
9. Stay in School: When my Dad was sick in the hospital, I could no longer cope with my crappy first car, that would only start when it was happy. Without being able to call my dependable Daddy to come and rescue me, I gave up on that car. I had finished classes for the summer and had a decent part time job, at which the hours increased when I was on a break from school, so I decided to purchase my first new car. Oh boy, was my Dad mad at me when I told him! But not because I had bought a new car, because he was scared that I would drop out of university because he was worried that I would become overwhelmed trying to make the payments. Long story, short....by the end of that conversation, I had promised my Dad that no matter what happened with him and his health or my new car, I would keep going to school and complete my degree. You see, he only had a Grade 9 education. It was a different time then and he was able to secure a job that supported his wife and three children, despite not finishing high school, but he knew that things were different now. And thanks to that promise, I now have a degree and certificate that I could pretty much take anywhere and find work. The day may come one day where I venture out career wise, but I will always have my education to fall back on....largely because of that little black Volkswagen Golf, that my Dad never did get to go for a ride in.
10.Celebrate Yourself: Being the introvert that I am, this is another difficult one for me. I have no desire to be the centre of attention in any situation but my Dad loved it! He was not afraid to take pride in his accomplishments or getting older and he would happily take the accolades coming to him. And he was right! We should all be proud of ourselves and not be afraid to celebrate ourselves sometimes! On that note...put on the hot dogs and ice a cake, Mum! We're coming over tonight for a Birthday Party!
Love you Dad!!
1. Family is #1: My Dad used to call home on his lunch break everyday, just to see what we were all up to. He took pride in his work for sure but we all knew that he would rather be home with us. And when he wasn't at work, he was driving us to all of our extra curricular activities and watching countless sports games of all kinds. My Mum, siblings and I knew that we were his number one priority. I hope that I make my son feel the same about me.
2. Don't Wait for Someday: My Dad died at the age of 63, two years before he was due to retire and endlessly road trip around North America with my amazing Mum. He couldn't wait for retirement and sadly, did not get to enjoy it. Thankfully though, until that point, he had lived life as fully as you can with a full time job and many grown up time commitments. Every summer, we went on a two week camping trip. I'm pretty sure he lived for that two weeks every year. I know there is always a reason not to do the things that we dream of. I am living that these days but let me tell you, I will not be waiting for retirement to cross out the majority of items on my bucket list.
3. Do More of What Makes You Happy: My Dad played hockey right up until his cancer diagnosis. He LOVED the sport and never stopped enjoying it. He played with old guys, young guys, good players, weak players. It didn't matter. It made him happy to play, as so he did. And if there is a heaven, I am willing to bet he's skating across the ice like a boss, stick handling the hell (pun intended) out of that puck right now. Go Dad Go! Thinking about it now, I am feeling like this is maybe a lesson, that I need to focus on. Do more of what I love. Yes!
4. Enjoy the Journey: This one was hard to understand until I became an adult and parent, with endless responsibilities. On those long, summer camping trips, my Dad would drive for an hour or two, find the next Rest Stop, and pull over AGAIN. My Mum would make coffee and my Dad would setup his lawn chair and sit and work on the crossword puzzle, while my siblings and I would moan and groan about stopping again. "Why are we stopping again? Let's just keep driving and get there! Ugh!" I get it now. As cliché as it is, life is really not about getting to your destination as quickly as you can. To live a fulfilling and joyful life, we need to enjoy the journey along the way. I am forever grateful that I finally see that my Dad had this one all figured out. 5. Stress Will Kill You: My Dad came from a generation where men don't talk about what was bothering them. He went through lots of stressful situations and probably many more that I know nothing about. That is life. I don't think he handled the bad stress in a very constructive way, and I firmly believe that had a negative impact on his health as he aged. I say that I have learned this lesson from my Dad but...ok, I will start that exercise and meditation routine tomorrow. Ohm!
6. Don't Hold Grudges: Holding grudges was not my Dad's style. He never walked away from a disagreement without settling it first and making sure the other person was good. These are the people he loved the most in the world, which takes me right back to #1! So if you are holding a grudge toward someone you love, I ask you to honour my Dad's memory and pick up the phone or better yet, go give that person a squeeze right now!
7. Make Other People Feel Special: I remember when my Dad was sick, answering many phone calls at my parent's house, from people I had never heard of (I was 22/23 years old at the time), who described themselves as "a good friend of your Dad". I remember it striking me at the time, how much people liked him. He made everyone he interacted with, feel like his good friend. He definitely spread the love, which is a goal of mine in my daily interactions. I try to treat everyone I encounter with respect and love, just as my Dad did during his life.
8. Document Your Life: My Dad wrote in a Diary every single day, for 30 plus years. I don't even know what year he started it but I know it was long before I was born. His Diaries were not full of his opinions and feelings but they documented our daily activities and current events. What a treasure he left behind for us and the future generations of my family! I can still see him sitting in his recliner, scribbling away in that year's volume for hours on end, with the intention of sharing it with others one day. I am sure many people think I overshare online but I guess that is my form of my Dad's "Diary", my way of documenting my son and my daily life for him and future generations. I guess my Dad's dedicated diary writing, also helps to explain my recent desire to start this blog. Thanks for passing that gene along Dad and thanks for tirelessly recording our lives! Such a gift!
9. Stay in School: When my Dad was sick in the hospital, I could no longer cope with my crappy first car, that would only start when it was happy. Without being able to call my dependable Daddy to come and rescue me, I gave up on that car. I had finished classes for the summer and had a decent part time job, at which the hours increased when I was on a break from school, so I decided to purchase my first new car. Oh boy, was my Dad mad at me when I told him! But not because I had bought a new car, because he was scared that I would drop out of university because he was worried that I would become overwhelmed trying to make the payments. Long story, short....by the end of that conversation, I had promised my Dad that no matter what happened with him and his health or my new car, I would keep going to school and complete my degree. You see, he only had a Grade 9 education. It was a different time then and he was able to secure a job that supported his wife and three children, despite not finishing high school, but he knew that things were different now. And thanks to that promise, I now have a degree and certificate that I could pretty much take anywhere and find work. The day may come one day where I venture out career wise, but I will always have my education to fall back on....largely because of that little black Volkswagen Golf, that my Dad never did get to go for a ride in.
10.Celebrate Yourself: Being the introvert that I am, this is another difficult one for me. I have no desire to be the centre of attention in any situation but my Dad loved it! He was not afraid to take pride in his accomplishments or getting older and he would happily take the accolades coming to him. And he was right! We should all be proud of ourselves and not be afraid to celebrate ourselves sometimes! On that note...put on the hot dogs and ice a cake, Mum! We're coming over tonight for a Birthday Party!
Love you Dad!!
Awwww, lucky you to have those memories!!!
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