I was sitting at the playground watching my son play on the playground. I saw her coming, before she saw me. A cute, little gal with pink hearts on her t-shirt. She was confidently using the concrete curb I was sitting on, as a balancing beam. The minute I saw her I knew she was headed my way and would want past me. I wondered how this was going to go down.
"Excuse me", her sweet little voice said. I grunted, and stood up to let her pass, the whole time annoyed at myself that I was annoyed at a young person using manners. I am big on manners! My son has been forced to say "Please" and "Thank you" since before he could talk (Ok, that might be a slight exaggeration but I am really into manners!). And here I am pissed that this little girl felt entitled to move the adults from their sitting wall, just because she used her manners! What is wrong with me? Am I that miserable?!
She balanced along, totally unaware that she was pushing me toward a mid-life crisis and I couldn't help but eavesdrop as she approached her next victim.
"Excuse me".
"We're eating lunch here. Can you go around?" came the sharp reply. Ah ha! I wasn't the only one! Phew! But this little interaction had me thinking about manners and the fact that they aren't everything. Using manners doesn't mean you are entitled to get anything you please.
My next manner moment, came just a few minutes later. My son was shadowing a group of three boys, all slightly older than him. He was looking for his opportunity to join their log-climbing pirate game. As he stood on a log about a foot from the ground, one of the boys full on, double handed pushed my son off the log. I sprang into action and couldn't help myself, "No pushing! That wasn't very nice!"
The other boy's daycare provider was on it, putting him in a time-out and debriefing the situation with him. "Why did you push him?" she asked.
"Because he was in my way", came the reply. Oh boy, here was a whole new sense of entitlement, but this time without any manners at all! I asked my son later if the boy had asked him to move before he pushed him and apparently, the only pre-shove request was, "Get out of my way!"
So what was worse, I wondered? The sweet girl using her manners to get what she wanted at the inconvenience of others, or the frustrated little boy, abandoning all manners, speaking his truth and simply taking what he wanted.
I came up with the answer on the drive home. They are just kids, learning the subtleties of interacting with others. I was willing to cut them both a little slack. They will figure it out before adulthood.....hopefully. And then I merged onto the bridge, rolled down my window and waved a big, "Thank you!" to the fellow human who slowed down to let me in.
Let's all make a commitment to use those manners our parents painstakingly taught us as children, the next time we have the opportunity. Thank your fellow human who holds the door open for you at the store. Say excuse me the next time you need to squeeze by your fellow human in a tight aisle. Wave thank you the next time your fellow human slows to let you into traffic. Give your fellow human the benefit of the doubt the next time they are driving too slowly in front of you, as they look for parking. Let's start a Thank-You Revolution together! I think we will find our children balancing right behind us!
"Excuse me", her sweet little voice said. I grunted, and stood up to let her pass, the whole time annoyed at myself that I was annoyed at a young person using manners. I am big on manners! My son has been forced to say "Please" and "Thank you" since before he could talk (Ok, that might be a slight exaggeration but I am really into manners!). And here I am pissed that this little girl felt entitled to move the adults from their sitting wall, just because she used her manners! What is wrong with me? Am I that miserable?!
She balanced along, totally unaware that she was pushing me toward a mid-life crisis and I couldn't help but eavesdrop as she approached her next victim.
"Excuse me".
"We're eating lunch here. Can you go around?" came the sharp reply. Ah ha! I wasn't the only one! Phew! But this little interaction had me thinking about manners and the fact that they aren't everything. Using manners doesn't mean you are entitled to get anything you please.
My next manner moment, came just a few minutes later. My son was shadowing a group of three boys, all slightly older than him. He was looking for his opportunity to join their log-climbing pirate game. As he stood on a log about a foot from the ground, one of the boys full on, double handed pushed my son off the log. I sprang into action and couldn't help myself, "No pushing! That wasn't very nice!"
The other boy's daycare provider was on it, putting him in a time-out and debriefing the situation with him. "Why did you push him?" she asked.
"Because he was in my way", came the reply. Oh boy, here was a whole new sense of entitlement, but this time without any manners at all! I asked my son later if the boy had asked him to move before he pushed him and apparently, the only pre-shove request was, "Get out of my way!"
So what was worse, I wondered? The sweet girl using her manners to get what she wanted at the inconvenience of others, or the frustrated little boy, abandoning all manners, speaking his truth and simply taking what he wanted.
I came up with the answer on the drive home. They are just kids, learning the subtleties of interacting with others. I was willing to cut them both a little slack. They will figure it out before adulthood.....hopefully. And then I merged onto the bridge, rolled down my window and waved a big, "Thank you!" to the fellow human who slowed down to let me in.
Let's all make a commitment to use those manners our parents painstakingly taught us as children, the next time we have the opportunity. Thank your fellow human who holds the door open for you at the store. Say excuse me the next time you need to squeeze by your fellow human in a tight aisle. Wave thank you the next time your fellow human slows to let you into traffic. Give your fellow human the benefit of the doubt the next time they are driving too slowly in front of you, as they look for parking. Let's start a Thank-You Revolution together! I think we will find our children balancing right behind us!
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